The scariest thing I ever decided to do was TRY.
When Tom and I first moved to his family’s ranch, I was extremely depressed.
I went from having my husband home at 5 pm to not seeing him until well after 8 pm. We went from taking fun road trips and vacations to him having one day off per week (if I was lucky).
Having dated Tom in high school, I knew that his ranch schedule would be difficult for me, but I also knew that he was never happier than when he was here, doing this. I didn’t want to stand in his way.
I told Tom that I would move here, but I never wanted to be asked to help on the ranch. YUP. I actually said that.
While everyone was branding, working cattle, etc, I was sitting at home, watching TV, thinking that I couldn’t live like this. I HATED this new, unfamiliar life.
I don’t know exactly when I decided enough was enough. I remember Tom bought me a pair of Muck Boots at one point that I thought were kind of cute. Maybe that’s what got me out of the house 😂
But at some point, I decided that I would TRY. I had no intention of operating equipment, driving trucks, or any of the stuff I do now, but I did know that my marriage wasn’t going to last much longer if I didn’t put in some sort of effort.
I started with salt and mineral. That’s what I was capable of. I rode to all the fields with Tom once a week to put out salt and mineral. That was it, but that small effort changed my life.
I started to see the beauty of this life and slowly (VERY SLOWLY) started to appreciate it more.
I went from salt and mineral duty, to riding in the buddy seat when Tom was feeding, to jokingly asking to drive the tractor, to feeding by myself, to doing vaccines at brandings, to running the branding table, to tagging calves with scary mamas, to seeding fields, to moving wheel lines, to driving the big rigs, and finally to driving one of the big farming tractors a few nights ago.
TRYING is scary. Putting yourself in a position where failure is the most likely outcome is never going to be easy.
But when I look back at the small efforts I made, and where I am now, I wouldn’t change any of it.
My experience here on the ranch has completely changed who I am in the best way possible. I’m no longer a scared little wall flower. I speak up for myself. I say NO when I don’t want to do something. I’ve stopped agreeing with others to avoid conflict. I’ve stopped letting fear of failure hold me back. When I see something I want, I go for it because the worst that can happen is that I fail, and it turns out that’s not the end of the world. Failure=Growth.
What are you failing at right now?