Today marks the first official day at my new job. No more white boards, no more text books, no more desks or bells. At this job, I will wear scrubs instead of black skinny jeans and over sized sweaters. I will ask people questions about their health and update medical records. I will (eventually) learn how to give an eye exam. I will adopt the title of “Opthalmic Technician.”
As I leave the title of “Teacher” behind, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and anxious. My life is changing in some serious ways right now. I can feel God pulling me away from the places I’ve dwelled for years and pushing me into new, scary situations. Letting go is hard. Whether it’s something big like a career or relationship or something small like an unhealthy habit, I tend to grip tightly to what I know.
Over the years, I have chosen to ignore God’s voice in every aspect of my life. I’ve blatantly and openly denied His existence and refused to acknowledge what I know to be true - My story was written long before I entered this world.
This year, I found my way back to my faith and handed the pen back to the one who should have been holding it all along. I’ve handed over the mess I’ve created in my life because I just can’t carry it anymore.
Many things have fallen into place since then, but many things feel like they are falling apart too. I can’t pretend to know what title God has in store for me. All I can do is hand it over, loosen my grip, and face each new obstacle one day at a time.