I recently decided to give up my full time position on the ranch.
As I type that, I still can’t believe it. I can’t tell you what, exactly, compelled me to apply for a job last week. I can’t put my finger on why I went to the interview and accepted the position.
Working out here has brought me so much joy. I’ve done things I never could have imagined doing, but it’s come at a price.
I’ve missed my friends and family. I’ve missed having time to do normal things like cook a decent dinner or watch a movie.
I am expected to be here 6 days a week, 12-14 hours a day. I’m not a ranch wife, I’m a ranch hand. Tom and I are not in charge out here.
This decision has been the hardest one I’ve ever made. Even harder than when I decided to quit teaching. I think that’s because I know I will miss it immensely. I’m conflicted.
I will be out here in the evenings and weekends helping out. It’s not like I’m moving away, but there are a lot of eyes on me here. Over 8,000 of you, plus more in my real life.
I know that some of you will be disappointed. I know some will laugh and say, “I knew she wouldn’t last!” I know that some of you will get it because you’ve been there.
For the record, I don’t consider myself a failure. I stepped up and learned how to do all the things I was terrified to do.
I’m not ready to give up trying new things. I’m not ready to be “locked in” to a specific job or career. If I hate this one, the ranch will be waiting for me.
I’ve written extensively on this platform about doing what’s best for you. I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t take my own advice.
So, for the time being, things might look a little different around here, but I hope you will stick around. I’m not done on the ranch. I’m not done doing the scary things, and I’m certainly not done sharing my story.