Oh, hi, it’s me. Anxiety ridden, type A, over thinker, over planner, never able to enjoy the present moment, always worried about something, Rachel.
When I first started working on the ranch, I can remember being SO overwhelmed, I actually felt lightheaded sometimes.
I was relatively comfortable driving the tractor, but the big rigs forever lurked in the back of my mind. I knew that eventually I would have to haul hay and grain. It was enough to induce more than one panic attack and a lot of tears.
I wasn’t asked to drive any of the big rigs for MONTHS after I started, and even then, they started me in the yellow truck that has a basic 5 speed in it.
STILL, I cooked up imaginary scenarios in which I was stuck on the train tracks, or I swiped a cyclist on the highway, or ran over a little kid on a bike without even noticing (my brain is a really pleasant place to live, folks 😂).
I’m not perfect. I’m broken, just like everyone else. I battle my own thoughts every single day. I’m afraid. I’m anxious.
I’m not qualified to give anyone advice, but I’m going to anyways.
Focus on the step directly in front of you, not the whole staircase.
Try not to worry about the big rig barreling down the highway. I would even go so far as to say IGNORE it. Pretend it doesn’t exist right now.
Chances are, all the small steps you take along the way will make the big rig (or your equivalent) a lot less scary than you think it will be.
Start small. Be patient. Know it won’t be perfect. Give yourself grace. One step at a time.
What’s your “big rig?” 👇🏻